Thursday, June 01, 2006

Heavy Stuff

I feel the need to apologize for not blogging over the pat few days, it seems the Winds of the West were strong enough to knock me on my @$$ for a bit. It was a good weekend.

It seems a bit dreary to share but it is something we must all deal with eventually. We spent a lot of time this weekend dealing with death, both our own and those in our families that have gone before us.

We did an interesting/scary mediation in which we were told (rather unexpectedly) that we would not make it to lunch that day, that there was a meteor screaming towards the planet and in 2 minutes we were die. Sounds a bit hinky doesn't it? Well let me tell you when you are feeling calm and open and someone tells you are dying soon, there is a small part of you that can believe it, that can imagine that your moment is now.

While I was in the moment, a moment of really believing, some hard questions were put me. How do I feel about my own death? Are there things I have always wanted to do that I never have? Do the people I love know that I love them? Have I lived my life honestly and followed my true path? Should I have lived my life differently than I chose to? It all sounds terribly morbid doesn't it?

It was heart wrenching and wonderful. For many of us it was a kick start, a realization that we still had business to attend to. An opportunity to re-evaluate and reset our priorities. I realized that I am okay with death, I would be very sad to miss this life and to miss the lives of my children. I am not ready to go but if today was my day I can know that I have lived my life well and honestly doing my best to follow my true path. Powerful stuff!

I also saw the other side and over the rainbow bridge that connects this life to the next there is guidance and there are loved ones. It is a journey that none of will go alone.

Okay Shannon and Mom and Dad too if you are reading this I know that we all feel grandma in our lives. I know that we all feel very strongly that she is still with us. I know how often she is on our thoughts and how often we feel her supporting hand in our lives even now. We all miss her so very much.

I wanted to know from her if we were holding her here with our need and our love for her or if she chooses to be with us. I feel her so strongly sometimes that I feared that she was unable to move on to her next journey because we as a family held her here with our own love and our own need of her so strong that she could not go. When you see her, when you feel her presence so fierce in your life, know in your hearts that she is with you by her choice and comes to you from love not duty.

Okay then, everyone have a deep breath and wipe your eyes. I know that was a little out there and a bit heavy, but I thought you would appreciate the insight as much as I did. I have more about my west journey to share but I thought I would get the heavy stuff out of the way. You can see why I waited so long to blog about it!

I wish I had some knitting or something to show you, but my evenings have been eaten up by softball and running this week. Somehow we said yes to a softball tournament this weekend too, how the heck did that happen?!?! I have turned the heel on Shannon's second sock so it is almost done I just need a couple evenings to sit and get it finished up. I have so many projects I would like to start and just not enough time in the day.

Here are some pictures that Deborah emailed me. The first is the exchange of Niclole's leg to mine and the second is the exchange from my leg to Jim's.

I need to nag Mike about some great wildlife pictures he took at the race. I will post those for you when he emails them to me.


Griffin Family 2006 said...

Hey Kelly, just read your blog it is really neat(spelt right?)anyways I couldnt help but think of this verse from the bible when I read your blog. it should help a person feel more confident about life after death, and help anyone know that they are prepared for it.
God so loved the world(you, me everyone) that He(God) gave His only begotten Son(Jesus), that whosoever believes in Him(Jesus) will not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
Take care, oh and the socks fit great thank you so much!

angie, party of one said...


Shannon said...

Sounds like you had an interesting weekend.

What do you want for your birthday?

Wudas said...

An interesting post. This is something I have thought of many times. I am glad to say I have no regrets and feel I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing in this life. Someone once told me I will/should be a spiritual teacher when times in this world get tough. I think we are all teachers in the now. I've never been afraid of death, just of dying. What a chicken!