Tuesday, June 21, 2005


There is a dear girl, who I love, but I am feeling like she is avoiding me. Let me see if I can make a long story short.

The dear girl, lets call her MG for now, has a sister who I also love. They are amazing, both together and apart. Let's call the sister MM.

MG and I were plugging along quite nicely, running together, having coffee on occasion and enjoying our friendship. MG begin inviting her sister, MM to hang out with us. Debbles came to play too. Everyone was happy.

Well it seems that for a long time there has been a little competitiveness in MG and she began to feel like Debbles and I and liked MM better than her. This of course is a pile of crap. We love them both, as my sister so eloquently put in a recent post: warts and all.

I have invited MG out 3 times in the past week and she has been to 'busy' to make it. She has told me she would like to 'talk' to me but there has been no talking as of yet. I am torn about how I feel about all this.

I feel sad that MG has sold Debbles and I short. That MG would think we would want to choose between her and her sister is a bit childish to me. I am almost 35 years old and capable of handling many friendships and loving more than one person. In fact I think I am very blessed to have the wonderful friends in my life that I do.

I am trying to understand where MG is coming from by looking at my relationship with my sister. I don't remember feeling much competitiveness between the two of us in the past 10 year or so at least.

Shannon and I hung out with the same people in high school and I remember us getting along fairly well as far as friends went. We did argue over a friend or two but I think mostly we all hung out together.

I remember feeling the most competitive with my sister when she was on the track team and I wanted to join as well. I know that I did not want to compete in the same events as she did because I knew she was a stronger runner and I did not want to get beat by her at every track meet. We argued about that one for a while, but I think in the long run when I was racing Shannon was cheering for me at the sidelines and when she was racing I was cheering for her at the sidelines.

Now I look at my sister and see that she has some wonderful strengths that I wish I had, but I do not feel competitive with her at all. I am sure that I have strengths she appreciates too. I feel that she is blessed to have so many great things going for her. I look at her and see all the good that she is and I would never want to do anything to take away from that.

Shannon is very talented. She will shake this off and think anyone can do it but that is just not true. She can sew better than Betsy Ross. She has a wonderful eye for color and texture. Her house is lovely and it is her talent that makes it such. She is a phenomenal mom, with a full time job, and a student. She makes a great Margarita and can dance the night away with wonderful rhythm. She is one of the most organized people I have ever met. Shannon is a woman of her word. This is high praise in my book, if she says she is going to do something it is done. No question. All this good stuff is just the tip of the iceberg, their is so much more, but remember I am trying to keep a long story short.

Most of all my sister is my friend. I would call her in a minute if I needed someone to talk to, she has always been there for me and this won't ever change. I often wish we lived closer together so we could share friends and spend more time together. I can't see myself being jealous of her at this point in my life. I am happy with myself and she seems to be happy with herself.

I wish that MG could see could see herself for all she is. I wish that MG would measure herself against her own goals and her own beliefs and not measure herself against her sister. I feel it is a shame that MG has pulled herself out of our friendship because of some competition that she has created a competition that no one else sees. I can honestly say I have never compared MG to MM, why would I? Sisters or not, they are different people.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

My suggesting is to call up MG and see if you can schedule a time with her to "talk". If she doesn't agree to meet with you and "talk", I would call up her sister MM and see if she knows what's going on with MM.