Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Did I Just Say That?!?!

As a parent their are phrases I hear coming out my mouth that make me wonder if I have been possessed. Sometimes by one of my parents and sometimes by some times by a crazed women with Tourette's Syndrome.

The worst I think are those phrases that my parents like to throw at my sister and I. You know the ones, even when you are 4 years old your thinking, "I am NEVER going to say that to my kids." Well I am here to tell you, yes you are. You can't help it, some how parents burn these phases into our brains, and under stress with one kid standing in a puddle of her own pee, and another kid sprawled out on the tile crying because he fell off the stool again, and child number three starts digging in the plants and eating the dirt, it just pops out, "Everyone, just go to your rooms....Why? Why? WHY!!!? Because I'm the MOM and you're the Kid!, That's why!" It is not even my voice I hear coming out of my mouth, it's my Mom's. She has possessed me. There are other phrases too:

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
"It will be curtains for you!" (What does this mean anyway?)
"Kelly Anne, quit flitting!"

Then there are the crazy things my kids MAKE me say. I could not come up with this stuff on my own, the kids bring out the best in me.

  • At the dinner table last night, "PJ, you can't wear your fairy wings at the table."
  • To Layne B a few days ago, "Sebastian can be the big sister if he wants to."
  • To Sebastian, "Honey, I think you should take out the pony tails and wear your ball cap to school."
  • "I don't know what they do with chickens eyes and mouth when they kill it."
  • "Please don't poke your sister in the bum with that knife." (It was a plastic knife from her tea set, safety first."
  • "PJ, it is important for you to wear panties to school."
  • "Please don't wash the walls with your toothbrush."
  • One of my all time favorites, "Sebastian it a good rule of thumb, not to touch your penis with your toothbrush."

What will I say next?


Shannon said...

Your blog was great today! I couldn't stop laughing. I love the phrases you say to your kids. I think so far there have been only two or three phrases I have used on my kids that Mom used to say to us.
"Go to your room."
"Because I said so."
"If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about."
"Because I'm the Mom and your the kid."
I guess that's more than a few. I never understood "It's curtains for you." either. I just knew I was in trouble. I'm sure I've said more than a few weird phrases to kids but I can't remember them right now.

I got the email from Thank you.

Keeefer said...

Arent kids just wonderful.
Your advice is so sage, especially the last part with the toothbrush....I will try to remember it in future :)

Wudas said...

Let Sebastian scrub his penis with his toothbrush, he'll only do it once, then get him a new one. Get PJ a kilt and she won't need underwear. And "It's curtains for you" means it's the end of your little show.

Shannon said...

Mom, your comment made me laugh even more.

Kelly O said...

I am glad you all enjoyed this one, new toothbrushes all around!