An Icky Hickey

Okay this is just silly, I am 34 years old I am a mother of 3 children, I own my own home, I have a doctorate for goodness sakes and I have a hickey. It was an accident I am sure of it. Hickeys are not necessarily a bad thing, unless they are big and ugly and on you neck and you work tomorrow. I can hear my patients now, "Uh, Dr. Ouimet, I have a question for you, is that a hickey on your neck?" Nice, very professional.

I think it has been there since yesterday, which means my mother-in-law either had the good grace not to say anything or she did not notice it. (She left at 5:00 this morning, we had a god visit, more on that later).

I don't know if Paul has noticed it yet either. I dread the moment when he sees it, because of the look that will cross his face when he realizes he put it there. He will get this weird smug look on his face, not unlike the look everyman gets when his wife tells him she is pregnant. You know the look, like this huge sense of accomplishment and pride, like he is the only man in the whole wide world that could accomplish this monumental thing. Never mind that every man in the world has the ability to get a gal pregnant a hundred times over and give her hickey while doing it! It's like marking their territory or something.

I remember telling Paul that we were pregnant with number 3, when number 3 rolled around we not preventing him, but we weren't planning him either. I knew I was pregnant for at least a week before I had comes to terms with it enough to share it with Paul. We were at the office and Paul and I happened to be in my exam room with no one else around. I said, "Paul, I have something I have been meaning to tell you." and he just stood there with this weird, pained, proud, mystified, goofy look on his face grinning from ear to ear. He knew what I was going to say. Then he said something to this effect, "Well there is no need to worry dear, I put the stem on the apple this time. Yes dear, that WAS my primary concern, how do you always know just what to say?

My cousin is now expecting baby number 5, (check out my Mom's blog for the storey, she posted it on Sunday, use the Daes Work link on the right, I am to lazy to look up the link for you here) this is after having her tubes tied. She is mad as hell and yet, I am sure her husband is grinning ear to ear with that goofy look on his face. He is thinking about what powerful mighty swimmers he has. I mean getting right by those tied tubes it takes some serious stamina swimming through those knots! Never mind that it was her healthy body that 'repaired' what the surgeon 'broke' and now here she is expecting. I bet she is sporting a hickey too.

Lets take a look at Shawn and Denise, they had twins a year ago. Identical girls, so this was the moms doing as the egg split into two embryos resulting in identical twins. Shawn takes all the credit. To hear him tell it, "My boys were swimming so hard and so fast that they split that egg right in two." Uh huh, that's the way happened. I bet Denise occasionally wears a hickey too, hopefully her husband is wise enough to put it where the general public can't view it.

Well all I can say is damn this hickey! I'll be wearing it to run clinic tonight too, I just find it a little embarrassing. Now don't get me wrong, I was not complaining during the process of getting it, and I am not really complaining now. I just respectfully request that Paul place the hickey lower next time. Hey, hey it's not a porn site here, just so it lands somewhere below the neck line.